I am AKAP

It came too unexpectedly. I was overwhelmed. I was happy.  I was excited. It was a blessing. It made me feel alive. But one day, It disappeared. I lost it. I felt sad. I was disappointed. I cried. It was a lesson. Now, I have to let go. I have to smile. I  have to  keep moving. I  have to  believe. I  have to  live. Just a cycle that I need to get used to.

I always tell myself that past is past and we should learn from our mistakes. But do we really learn from them?  If you're too honest to admit, that's your mistake, then, you tend to learn from them. If your ego is too huge to admit your fault, then, you would never learn from them. *too simple* I heard something about someone who became part of my life for 6 years. My PAST and would always be my PAST. It's been 6 or 7 years since the last time we talked. We never had a proper closure. We always fight. Left and right arguments etc. We're not friends AND we would never be. (We have our own reasons why we'll never end up as friends.)  11 years ago, I thought he's the one for me. I was deeply in love and such. Did crazy things with him and shared good memories, too. It was too painful for me to let go of the relationship, but I did. Letting him go was the right thing to do. I would never regret that because if I didn't, he wouldn't meet HIS PRES...

I've been waiting for quite some time now. Waiting for the one. The one who'll be with me for the rest of my life. Some people say "it's tiring", but for me, it's not. I will never get tired of loving and waiting. I do believe in serendipity. There's one person who'll we meet unexpectedly and will stay with us forever. Yes, FOREVER. I think I found mine. I'm not sure but I think he's the one. I may not be the one for him, but for me he's my one. (*Selfish here lol*) He's away. *thousand miles away* It makes it more difficult for me to show what I feel. (I always say I miss you and I love you, that's the only thing that I can do, for now.) All I know is he's special and he deserves to be loved. I want to take care of him. How I wish he'll say "Stop waiting, cause I'm here". Then, I'll stop and be his happily ever after. "LOVE IS WAITING" by: Brooke Fraser https://www....

People say friendship doesn't have a break up. Friends argue and sometimes hate and criticize each other but at the end of the day, they're still friends. It is a life- long commitment. We may have different circle of friends, and that's normal. It's cool to have a lot of friends but it's cooler if the friends that you have are true. How do we know if friends are real or fake? (It's difficult to explain how *kbye*) Let me tell you this, it is not about the length of time that you guys have been friends. The bottles of beer that you've shared, the numbers of bars that you've visited, beaches that you've taken pictures of, those sleepovers, shopping and barhopping. It's about who has been there with/for you when you're down and broken.  Those people who never left you when you had nothing, when you needed some advice, money, love and other drugs (*just kidding*) Know who your real friends are. Keep them because you cannot have ...

I always wanted to have a fairytale-like love story. (I think everyone does.) I wanted to have that so-called- prince charming who would make me feel like a princess (not literally). Someone who will treat me right, fight for our love and be my forever. WHERE THE HECK ARE YOU? Were you trapped in a tree or something?  (lol) I would wait even if it takes forever. I would never rush things in finding the one (my only one). I will keep waiting until the right time comes.  Thinking of my own fairytale excites me.

There are times in our lives where in we have to quit, stop or give up (*swallowing*, yes, we sometimes need to give up for us to move on & to have something better). It doesn't mean that we are weak. We just get to realize how to make things right especially if it doesn't make sense anymore, if it's not working, if we're not happy or if nobody appreciates what we're doing. Last week was a hell week for me. I gave up my career and someone really special. I can't explain why I did it, how or WHY? (again.) After 4 days, everything sinks in to me. Whew! Was my decision right? I DON'T KNOW. I miss going to the hospital and I miss him.  Thinking about them, ignoring and acting that they don't care make it worse. It's more difficult and painful for me. I don't know what to do. Should I reach out and talk to them? I can't even talk to my PRIDE though. (Ohh why am I a Gemini?) Anyway, I did try, a little but I think it wasn't enough.  ...

He knows when to make me smile and piss off at the same time. I still smile when I'm mad.  This man is driving me crazy, really.